8.9 Earthquake in Japan

Well kids its still Thursday March 9^th 2011 and I have to blog about what I'm watching on TV.  Just an hour ago Japan had a major earthquake that measured 8.9 on the Richter Scale.  I’m watching a massive tsunami washing through the coast of Japan.  I’m watching people on the roofs of buildings trying to survive this tidal wave.  I’m watching the water washing away cars driving as fast as the can to get away.  This wave is sweeping homes away.  I am watching people die on live TV.  Right now there is a massive oil fire in a refinery.  This is one of the largest earthquakes in the history of man, its actually the 7th largest in recorded history.  Hundreds, if not thousands of people are literally in the process of dying as I write this. 

The tsunami is making its way to Russia, The Philippines, Guam, Papa New Guinea and Hawaii.  There are still after shocks measuring well over 7.0.  There are no words that can describe the devastation and destruction.  I’m sure that you guys will talk about this in school tomorrow and for days after.  I have you guys tomorrow for the night and I will make sure to talk about this with you and have you guys watch news coverage of this.  This will dominate the news for days and weeks to come. 

I want you guys to know three things.  I love you guys so much.  Secondly, life is very fragile and things like this can happen any where at any time.  When tragedy strikes, any traumatic event, never panic.  Always think first and act second.  One of the things that causes the most harm is panic.  Lastly, and most importantly, God is still in control even in the face of chaos and catastrophe.  To sum up…  There will be times in life when something bad happens, you can’t afford to panic and you need to use your head and think and always look to God and pray.  I love you guys.

You're Beautiful, You're Beautiful, You're Beautiful It's True...

Hi Guys, its Thursday March 9^th.  Today I picked up the girls for Daddy Daughter day.  We first went to McDonalds and then to Skate World.  While we were at McDonalds Pepper wanted to get on my shoulders and when I picked her up to put her on she hit her head.  She cried for a little while but she was OK. 

We then went to Skate World to look around and see what they offered for kids.  It turns out SW has a little kids skate time while its Daddy Daughter day.  I think the girls and I will be going skating sometimes!  SW has not changed at all since I was a little kid skating there.  Amazing and it brings me back to my youth.

We then went to drop Pepper off at school.  We went in and spent some time in her class before school began.  I have to say that your kindergarten teacher Mrs. Manzila is one of the greatest teachers ever.  She cares for you pepper son much.  Last year When ICE was in her class she had a very special affection for him that was amazing.  She really helped him to focus his energy and attention.  You kids are very lucky to have your first teacher be so caring and interested in you guys.

So after we dropped Pepper off at school I was driving CME back home and she told me she wanted me to start calling her Wendy.  I have no idea where she came up with the mane Wendy… Actually she told me to call her that when I was taking her out of the truck and it was very windy.  I’m not sure if that was the impetus for the name but I thought it was interesting.  She then said I could call her Maddy.  I’m not sure what name she’ll settle on but I think one of those two names will serve as her name here.  I think I’ll go with Wendy until further notice!

You know one other thing happened during our day that melted my heart…  When you guys first got in the truck and we were headed up the drive way a song came on the radio and I stopped at the end of the drive way and sang it to Pepper and Wendy while I help their hands.  The song was You’re Beautiful by James Blunt.  The chorus goes, “you’re beautiful, you’re beautiful, you’re beautiful it’s true”. 

Pepper when I was singing that song to you, you were so happy and there was so much joy in your eyes.  While I was singing you would look away because you didn’t want me to see the big smile on your face.  You try to be so cool at times, even at such a very young age, its cute.  But I want you two girls to know how beautiful and pretty you are and how much I love you.  You two melt my heart with your hugs and love.  I am very proud that you are my daughters.  You two little princesses own Daddy’s heart!  Thanks for spending a few hours with me today.

An Audience of Four

An Audience of Four

Hi guys, it’s me Dadda and I’ve thought of a way to communicate with you about our life, family and why things are the way they are.  Its also a way for me to journal my feelings about this divorce and why our marriage didn’t work.  Today is March 8, 2011 and your mother and I are still married, for now.  We won’t be in a week or two and there’s nothing I can do to stop it. 

I love your mother with all of my heart but sometimes that’s not enough.  Despite the fact that we’ll soon be divorced, I want you to know that I love each one of you with all of my heart.  I’ll never regret marrying your mother because of you guys.  Each one of you means the world to me.  If you can always remember one thing, always remember how much I love you and how valuable you are to me.  I can’t tell you guys enough or give you all of the hugs and love my heart has for you all!!!! 

I have so much to say and explain that it will be hard to know where to begin and when to end daily.  This won’t be a chronological narrative and I’ll forget something’s and have to go back and add things in.  This is my best attempt to let you know who you are in light of your past.  I’ll tell you at some point about my mom and dad’s divorce and how it made me fell but I can’t tell you I would love to have a written account of why things happened and how they felt about it and how they felt about me.  It would have answered a lot of questions that I fear will never be answered.  It would have helped me tremendously if I knew how my parents felt about me.  My hope for this blog is that you can look back on this and someday better understand why things happened, from my perspective and more importantly, I hope through this you can see my love for you and you’ll never question your worth and value to me.  I love you each and there’s no enough words, hours or hugs to express the depth of my affection and love for each one of you. 

There will be many different kids of entries in this exercise.  Some will be to document my memories about you guys, our family, my life, wisdom that I’d like you to always remember and a lot of miscellaneous thoughts.  I hope to make you guys laugh, love, think, remember, understand, know, and learn. 

I’ve created this pen name to hide in plain view.  No one needs to know my name or yours, and you’ll know who each one of you are through out this.  This is our little corner of the world to create something unique and meaningful.  I am writing to an audience of four.  I don’t know when my last post will happen but between today and that day I hope to create a space where you can always return to find not only me and my thoughts, but also parts of each one of you. 

So the time has come to close the entry out.  It’s Tuesday and I have to pick you kids up from school in about 40 minutes.  Today is my day to spend about three hours and 40 minutes with you guys.  I love you guys, Dadda

God Hears and He Laughs

 God Hears and He Laughs

Abraham (not Lincoln) is the father of all nations.  He was papa to first Ishmael and then Isaac.  Through one child Islam was founded and the other, Judaism and Christianity.  One man three world religions that, at the extreme, are at war with each other. 

Being the dada of two boys I have empathy for Abraham.  How many times have I watched these two pieces of my heart wage little boy wars and drive the other to tears?  How would Abraham feel today about the relationship between Islam, Judaism and Christianity? 

Does God love Islamists more than Jews or Christians?  Abraham asked God if Ishmael might live under Gods blessing and God said, “And as for Ishmael, I have heard you: I will surely bless him; I will make him fruitful and will greatly increase his numbers. He will be the father of twelve rulers, and I will make him into a great nation.”

God has blessed Ishmael!  Ishmael is my brother not my enemy.  How would my father want me to treat his son whom he greatly loves?  It’s my hearts desire that my boys would consider how I feel about them when they're at war with each other. 

When my two boys are playing together, enjoying being brothers and loving each other, the joy in my heart overflows!  When I hear them loving each other I smile and I laugh.  I don’t think it’s a coincidence that Ishmael mean, “God hears” and Isaac means, “he laughs”.  I think when God sees Islamists, Jews and Christians enjoying their brotherhood he thinks of Ishmael and Isaac.  God hears and he laughs!

Faith, Hope and Love

Faith, Hope and Love

And now these three remain: Faith, hope and love.  But the greatest of these is love. 

These are not words a divorced dad of might lead with.  You would expect the white-hot pain, like acid burning the soul, spewing hatred like a machine gun. But, I’ve been abandoned before by people who loved me more. 

I’d like to tell you that Jesus has taken me into His loving arms and held me until I wept no more and found the sleep of the innocent.  That would be a lie.  I wish I could tell you that my church surrounded me in my time of need and covered me with the love of family.  But they didn’t.  I wish I could tell you that my mother, somebody who loved me more, loved me through this.  But she gave me the same gift as before.

Two women I’ve loved, two births I’ve shared and both left.  One took my childhood and the other, my children.  I desperately wanted parents growing up and when I was grown, I wanted to be the father I never had.  One made sure I never had a dad and the other took my idea of fatherhood away. 

My mother and my wife, different people but similar.